Gulch Wars Rant

Whenever I'm online in Halo 2, I can usually be found in Team Hardcore or Big Team Battle. Specifically, I've been haunting BTB Slayer as of late. I love big encounters and since it's unranked I can have my roomates play with me. But there's one gametype in the playlist that I abhor. And that's Gulch Wars on Coagulation. Some fun can usually be had with it on Containment, but it's just plain broken on Coagulation. This is because this gametype happens to combine together several flaws in Halo 2 into one terrible time with a controller. Two major flaws in Halo 2 multiplayer, in my opinion, are the overpowered nature of the tanks, and a broken player spawning system.

The Scorpion Tank has been significantly overpowered in Halo 2. On the surface it appears that there are more checks on the power of the tank than there were in Halo 1. In the first game, you could kill a tank by rocket launcher, by grenades, or by sniping the driver. All of those checks are still in Halo 2, with the rocket launcher now being more formidable due to the lock on feature, as is a new one in vehicle jacking. But in Halo 2, the tank is more maneuverable and has a cover over the cockpit. And vehicle jacking is near useless for the tank on a wide open map like Coagulation. Any driver worth a damn will be able to kill an person or vehicle that gets anywhere close. This also rules out grenades, as the Chief's new Mjolnir Mark VI armor apparently weighs down his arm much more than the armor from Halo 1. In other words, the Chief now throws like a nancy boy. That leaves sniper and rocket fire. But due to that cover on the cockpit, you can't snipe the driver out until it's been blown off. And the tank must take a very large amount of damage before that happens. The tank basically has to have been on the brink of death at some point. And as I said before, any tank pilot worth his salt won't let that happen. That leaves the rockets. With their new lock-on, they are an even bigger threat before. They're now idiot proof (which I dislike, but that's a conversation for another time). The problem is in their spawn locations. The tanks have very easy access to all three of them on Coagulation. On Containment there are 4 rocket launchers, and 2 of them are in the back of the bases, protected from tank fire. You have to get lucky and catch the tank not looking to grab them on Coagulation. Now you may be thinking, "But Andrew, you ignorant slut, there are 2 tanks on the map! That keeps balance!." Au contraire, my little smarty pants friend. One tank is inevitably destroyed by the other within the first minute of the game. The surviving tank pilot, if he's anywhere near competent, then keeps an eye on the other tank spawn and destroys is as soon as it reappears. Speaking of spawning...

The other flaw that makes this hell on-an-S-controller is the player spawn system. Instead of spawning each team at their respective bases, like it should, it randomly spreads everyone out. This sometimes means one team controls both tanks from the outset. If both teams spawned at their bases, then each team would have control of a sniper rifle and a rocket launcher and would therefore be essentially equal. But that doesn't happen. One team almost always ends up with an overabundance of power weapons, which throws the entire games out of whack. The game is essentially over before a single shot has been fired. A final sore point of mine regarding spawning is respawning when one or both tanks are owned by one team and are patrolling the bases. Sometimes in the this situation, which, to be truthful, is quite rare, Halo 2 decides that the players from the other team should all be spawned at one base, right in front of the tank. This makes for an easy multi kill for all but the most inept tank drivers.